90+ Funny Bagel Puns, Jokes, and One-Liners

Bagels have become a beloved breakfast staple worldwide. Their chewy texture and delightful versatility make them the perfect canvas for a wide range of flavors and toppings. But beyond their culinary appeal, bagels also offer a wealth of opportunities for humor. 

Whether you’re a bagel enthusiast or just someone who appreciates a good pun, this collection of funny bagel puns, jokes, and one-liners is sure to make you smile. Below, you’ll find funny bagel puns, cute bagel puns, and puns about bagels, perfect for sharing with friends, adding to your social media posts, or just enjoying a light-hearted read.

Funny Bagel Puns

• What did the bagel say to the donut? Donut worry, be happy!
• Why did the bagel go to therapy? It couldn’t stop feeling crumby.
• How does a bagel keep fit? It does lots of hole-y yoga.
• What’s a bagel’s favorite type of dog? A pumpernickel!
• What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel.
• Why did the bagel cross the road? To schmear itself on the other side.
• What’s a bagel’s favorite city? New York, because it’s the big apple and the big bagel.
• What’s a bagel’s least favorite vegetable? Soggy sprouts.
• How do you get a bagel to stop acting up? You put it in a bag and let it chill.
• Why did the bagel join a band? It wanted to be a part of the roll-ing stones.
• What type of music do bagels listen to? Pop music.
• Why do bagels make terrible comedians? Their jokes are always half-baked.
• What did the bagel say when it won the lottery? I’m on a roll!
• How do you make a bagel laugh? Butter it up.
• Why was the bagel so good at improv? It knew how to roll with it.
• What’s a bagel’s favorite movie? Roll Model.
• What’s a bagel’s favorite sport? Baseball, because they love to hit homers.
• Why did the bagel bring a suitcase to work? It heard it was a roll-ing job.
• Why don’t bagels ever get lost? They always come back to their roots.
• What did the bagel say to the toaster? You’re really hot!
• Why did the bagel blush? It saw the salad dressing.
• What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel.
• How does a bagel greet you? With a warm, toasty hug.
• Why did the bagel go to school? To get a little bready-cation.
• What did the bagel say to the slice of bread? You’re toast!
• How do bagels stay in shape? They do lots of kettle-bell workouts.
• Why did the bagel go to the party? To get toasted.
• What’s a bagel’s favorite exercise? Car-dough.
• Why did the bagel get promoted? It was on a roll.
• Why do bagels never get lonely? Because they always have each other in the end.

Cute Bagel Puns

• You’re my everything bagel.
• Let’s roll through life together.
• I love you a hole lot!
• You’re bagel-tiful.
• You’re the cream of my life.
• Bagels make my heart whole.
• I find you so a-dough-rable.
• You’re the schmear to my bagel.
• We’re a perfect match, like lox and bagel.
• You make my heart melt like butter on a hot bagel.
• Bagels and love, what a combo.
• Bagels make everything butter.
• You’ve got a lot of bagel-tude.
• I can’t help but fall for your holesomeness.
• Bagels are my love language.
• You’re the bagel to my soul.
• Let’s stick together like sesame seeds.
• Bagels make me feel warm and toasty.
• Bagels and coffee make the perfect blend.
• You’re the jam on my bagel.
• Our love is like a fresh-baked bagel.
• You make every day bagel-icious.
• You’re the hole package.
• You’re my better half-bagel.
• Our relationship is like a bagel, round and never-ending.
• You’re bagel-tastically cute.
• You’re the sprinkle on my everything bagel.
• Our love story is like a bagel, it’s on a roll.
• Bagels bring us closer.
• You’re my everything, bagel.

Read More: Squash Puns: Jokes And One-Liners

Puns About Bagels

• A bagel in the hand is worth two in the toaster.
• You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a bagel.
• Bagels are the best thing since sliced bread.
• Life is too short for bad bagels.
• All you knead is love and bagels.
• Bagels are a circle of life.
• A day without a bagel is like a day without sunshine.
• Bagels are the bread of life.
• Life’s a journey, enjoy the bagels.
• Bagels are my happy place.
• The world would be a better place with more bagels.
• Bagels make the world go round.
• You can’t rush a good bagel.
• There’s no problem a bagel can’t solve.
• The best things in life are bagels.
• Bagels are proof that the best things come in circles.
• You’re never alone with a good bagel.
• Bagels: the ultimate comfort food.
• You can’t be sad with a bagel in your hand.
• Every bagel is a fresh start.
• Bagels: a hole lot of love.
• Keep calm and eat a bagel.
• Bagels are like a warm hug for your stomach.
• Bagels make mornings worth waking up for.
• A bagel a day keeps the sadness away.
• Bagels are the heart of a good breakfast.
• Bagels are a little circle of heaven.
• The best ideas start with a good bagel.
• Life’s too short for bad bagels.
• Bagels are the spice of life.

Conclusion

In the end, bagels are more than just a delicious treat—they’re a source of endless fun and creativity. Whether you’re enjoying a plain bagel with cream cheese or a fancy bagel with all the toppings, there’s always room for a good laugh. From funny bagel puns that will make you chuckle to cute bagel puns that warm your heart, and clever puns about bagels that make you think, there’s something here for everyone. So, the next time you reach for your favorite bagel, remember these puns and jokes to add a little extra joy to your day. And most importantly, never underestimate the power of a good bagel and a great sense of humor!