230+ Funny Holidays Puns, Jokes, and One-Liners

The holiday season is not just a time for joy and family; it’s also a perfect opportunity for a little humor! Whether you’re looking for a chuckle at a Christmas party or a groan-worthy line for a holiday card, these 230+ holiday puns, jokes, and one-liners are sure to bring the festive spirit with a side of smiles. 

Below, find a comprehensive compilation segmented into categories as denoted by our headlines.

Funny Holidays Puns

• Fleece Navidad! We’re hoping your holidays are baa-rilliant!
• Don’t be elf-ish, share your candy canes this Christmas!
• I’m Claus-trophobic, especially when Santa gets stuck in the chimney!
• Snow many cookies, snow little time.
• Yule be sorry if you don’t enjoy the holidays!
• Make it rein this Christmas—throw those decorations up!
• Let’s get lit! Said every Christmas light ever.
• This Christmas, I’m feeling pine—hope you are fir-tastic too!
• Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.
• Wrapping gifts? Yule be great at it!
• I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.
• Are you oak-kay? Because you look tree-mendous tonight!
• Have your elf a merry little Christmas.
• It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.
• Santa’s helpers are sub-elf-ern workers.
• It’s about time to spruce things up for the holidays!
• Don’t worry, be jolly. ‘Tis the season to rock around the Christmas tree!
• Feliz Navi-dog to all our furry friends!
• Can December march? No, but April May!
• Don’t fir-get to hug someone you love today.
• Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
• What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
• What’s red and white and falls down chimneys? Santa Klutz.
• How does a gingerbread man make his bed? With a cookie sheet!
• You can’t catch me, I’m the gingerbread man!
• December has the holiday spirit—it’s always in the present!
• Have an ice day!
• Just hanging with my ‘gourd’ friends for the holidays.
• I’m on a mistle-toast diet this holiday season.
• Remember to season’s greetings with a dash of fun!

Funny Holidays Puns And Jokes

• What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit? Krisp Kringle!
• Why was the math book sad during the holidays? It had too many problems to solve before the new year.
• How do snowmen read their messages? By wintertexing.
• What’s a parent’s favorite Christmas Carol? Silent Night!
• Why don’t reindeer like picnics? Because of all the ant-lers.
• What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
• Why did the turkey join the band? Because it had the drumsticks.
• What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies? Snowballs.
• Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? His wife was a total flake.
• What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint Nickel-less.
• Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ‘ho ho ho’!
• What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
• What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
• How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited? He keeps a log.
• Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer!
• What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!
• What does Santa do with fat elves? Sends them to an Elf Farm.
• What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
• Why was the Christmas tree bad at knitting? It kept dropping its needles.
• Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present’s beneath them.
• How do you scare a snowman? You get a hairdryer!
• What do reindeer say before they tell you a joke? This one’s gonna sleigh you!
• What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.
• How is the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
• What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
• What do you call a can wearing a Christmas hat? A merry can.
• Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care!
• What do you call a group of chess fanatics bragging about their games in a hotel lobby during the holidays? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
• What did the grape say to the raisin during Christmas? ‘Tis the season to be jelly.
• How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed!

Funny Holidays Puns And One-Liners

• Why is Christmas just like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
• December is the only month that can make everyone feel like an elf.
• If you don’t like my present, it’s because Santa ran out of coal.
• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
• What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time? Sandy Claws.
• Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? He felt crummy.
• What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!
• How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!
• Why do mummies like Christmas so much? Because of all the wrapping!
• What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
• Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim.
• What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling? Mistletoad.
• What’s St. Nick’s favorite measurement in the metric system? The Santameter!
• Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee? Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!
• Why doesn’t Santa use reindeer milk in his coffee? He’s on a non-deery diet.
• What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum—you just can’t beat it!
• How does a sheep say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!
• What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pineapple.
• Why was the smartphone a must-have gift for Christmas? It had a great ‘Santa’ rating.
• What’s a good holiday tip? Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
• How do you know Santa’s good at karate? He has a black belt!
• What did one ornament say to another? ‘I like hanging with you.’
• Why was the computer cold at Christmas? It left its Windows open.
• What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitis.
• How does a snowman lose weight? He waits for the weather to get warmer.
• What do you call Santa living at the South Pole? A lost Claus.
• What’s a ghost’s favorite Christmas story? The Fright Before Christmas.
• Why do birds fly south for the winter? It’s faster than walking!
• What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas? Santa Jaws!
• Why do reindeer have bells? Because their horns don’t work.

Best Puns About Holidays

• What do you call a snowman party? A snowball!
• If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes.
• Why did the Christmas tree quit playing chess? Because it couldn’t handle the knight moves.
• What do you call a broke Santa? Saint Nickel-less.
• What happens when you eat Christmas ornaments? You get tinsel in your intestines.
• Why is Santa so good at karate? Because he has a black belt.
• Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care!
• How does a gingerbread man make his bed? With cookie sheets!
• Why did the turkey join the band? Because it had the drumsticks.
• What kind of photos do elves take? Elf-ies!
• What’s Santa’s favorite kind of music? Wrap!
• How do you know when Santa’s around? You can sense his presents.
• Why was the ornament addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees.
• What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
• Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb? Because it would say, “Baa humbug!”
• When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving? In the dictionary.
• Why did the reindeer need braces? He had buck teeth.
• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? The Abdominable Snowman.
• How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prints.
• Why do Christmas trees like the past so much? Because the present’s beneath them.
• Why was the math book sad around Christmas? It had too many problems.
• What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Kringle.
• What do you call a blind reindeer? No eye-deer.
• What do you call an old snowman? Water!
• What do you get when you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle smells!
• How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet? Only 25, there’s no L (Noel)!
• What does Jack Frost like best about school? Snow and tell.
• What’s the best thing to put into a Christmas cake? Your teeth!
• What does a queen in a Christmas pageant wave? A holly branch.
• What did the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine? This will sleigh you.

Best Happy Holidays Puns

• Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the bad girls live.
• What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
• How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas? Deep pan, crisp and even.
• What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps!
• What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
• How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle.
• What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.
• Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles.
• What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!
• How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees his whole life.
• What do you call a scary looking reindeer? A cariboo!
• What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite!
• What kind of ball doesn’t bounce? A snowball.
• What do you call an old snowman? A puddle!
• Why do mummies like the holidays? They’re into all the wrapping.
• What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck? A Christmas Quacker!
• Why don’t reindeer like picnics? They keep getting antlers in their food!
• What’s white, red, and blue at Christmas time? A sad candy cane!
• What do you get when you cross a snowman with a dog? Frostbite.
• What do elves post on Social Media? Elf-ies!
• What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments!
• What does Santa do in his garden? He ho ho ho’s!
• What do you get if Santa goes down a lit chimney? Crisp Kringle.
• How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!
• What’s a child’s favorite king at Christmas? A stocking!
• Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose!
• What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?
• How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
• Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had a low “elf” esteem!
• What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backwards!

Best Jokes About Holidays

• What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
• Why don’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
• How do you know Santa is a man? No woman would wear the same outfit year after year.
• What do reindeer say before they tell a joke? This one will sleigh you!
• Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it’s too far to walk.
• How does a snowman get to work? By icicle.
• What do you call an old snowman? Water!
• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
• What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time? Sandy Claws.
• Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? Because he was feeling crummy.
• What do you call a can wearing a Christmas hat? A merry can.
• What happens when you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinselitis.
• What’s Santa’s favorite snack food? Crisp Pringles.
• Why was the Christmas tree bad at knitting? Because it always dropped its needles.
• How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles immaculate? He uses Comet.
• Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care.
• Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim.
• What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck? A Christmas Quacker.
• Why was the smartphone a must-have gift at Christmas? It had a great ‘Santa’ rating.
• What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
• Why do mummies like the holiday season? Because of all the wrapping.
• What do you get when you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle Smells.
• What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson.
• How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico? Fleece Navidad!
• What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Krisp Kringle.
• What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum—you just can’t beat it!
• What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
• How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet? Only 25, there’s no L (Noel)!
• What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
• How does a snowman lose weight? He waits for the weather to get warmer.

Conclusion

The holidays are a time of joy, and what better way to spread that joy than with a good laugh? From Christmas tree puns to Santa’s reindeer jokes, these 230+ funny holiday puns, jokes, and one-liners will keep your spirits high and your heart light. Remember, the best way to enjoy the season is to share it with others—preferably with a pun or two! So, as you go about your holiday preparations, don’t forget to sprinkle a little humor along with the holiday cheer. Whether you’re wrapping presents, baking cookies, or just hanging out with loved ones, a good pun can always make the moments more memorable.