The holiday season is not just a time for joy and family; it’s also a perfect opportunity for a little humor! Whether you’re looking for a chuckle at a Christmas party or a groan-worthy line for a holiday card, these 230+ holiday puns, jokes, and one-liners are sure to bring the festive spirit with a side of smiles.
Below, find a comprehensive compilation segmented into categories as denoted by our headlines.
Funny Holidays Puns
- Fleece Navidad! We’re hoping your holidays are baa-rilliant!
- Don’t be elf-ish, share your candy canes this Christmas!
- I’m Claus-trophobic, especially when Santa gets stuck in the chimney!
- Snow many cookies, snow little time.
- Yule be sorry if you don’t enjoy the holidays!
- Make it rein this Christmas—throw those decorations up!
- Let’s get lit! Said every Christmas light ever.
- This Christmas, I’m feeling pine—hope you are fir-tastic too!
- Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.
- Wrapping gifts? Yule be great at it!
- I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.
- Are you oak-kay? Because you look tree-mendous tonight!
- Have your elf a merry little Christmas.
- It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.
- Santa’s helpers are sub-elf-ern workers.
- It’s about time to spruce things up for the holidays!
- Don’t worry, be jolly. ‘Tis the season to rock around the Christmas tree!
- Feliz Navi-dog to all our furry friends!
- Can December march? No, but April May!
- Don’t fir-get to hug someone you love today.
- Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
- What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
- What’s red and white and falls down chimneys? Santa Klutz.
- How does a gingerbread man make his bed? With a cookie sheet!
- You can’t catch me, I’m the gingerbread man!
- December has the holiday spirit—it’s always in the present!
- Have an ice day!
- Just hanging with my ‘gourd’ friends for the holidays.
- I’m on a mistle-toast diet this holiday season.
- Remember to season’s greetings with a dash of fun!
Funny Holidays Puns And Jokes
- What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit? Krisp Kringle!
- Why was the math book sad during the holidays? It had too many problems to solve before the new year.
- How do snowmen read their messages? By wintertexing.
- What’s a parent’s favorite Christmas Carol? Silent Night!
- Why don’t reindeer like picnics? Because of all the ant-lers.
- What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
- Why did the turkey join the band? Because it had the drumsticks.
- What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies? Snowballs.
- Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? His wife was a total flake.
- What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint Nickel-less.
- Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ‘ho ho ho’!
- What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
- How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited? He keeps a log.
- Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer!
- What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!
- What does Santa do with fat elves? Sends them to an Elf Farm.
- What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
- Why was the Christmas tree bad at knitting? It kept dropping its needles.
- Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present’s beneath them.
- How do you scare a snowman? You get a hairdryer!
- What do reindeer say before they tell you a joke? This one’s gonna sleigh you!
- What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.
- How is the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
- What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
- What do you call a can wearing a Christmas hat? A merry can.
- Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care!
- What do you call a group of chess fanatics bragging about their games in a hotel lobby during the holidays? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
- What did the grape say to the raisin during Christmas? ‘Tis the season to be jelly.
- How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed!
Funny Holidays Puns And One-Liners
- Why is Christmas just like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
- December is the only month that can make everyone feel like an elf.
- If you don’t like my present, it’s because Santa ran out of coal.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time? Sandy Claws.
- Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? He felt crummy.
- What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!
- How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!
- Why do mummies like Christmas so much? Because of all the wrapping!
- What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
- Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim.
- What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling? Mistletoad.
- What’s St. Nick’s favorite measurement in the metric system? The Santameter!
- Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee? Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!
- Why doesn’t Santa use reindeer milk in his coffee? He’s on a non-deery diet.
- What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum—you just can’t beat it!
- How does a sheep say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!
- What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pineapple.
- Why was the smartphone a must-have gift for Christmas? It had a great ‘Santa’ rating.
- What’s a good holiday tip? Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
- How do you know Santa’s good at karate? He has a black belt!
- What did one ornament say to another? ‘I like hanging with you.’
- Why was the computer cold at Christmas? It left its Windows open.
- What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitis.
- How does a snowman lose weight? He waits for the weather to get warmer.
- What do you call Santa living at the South Pole? A lost Claus.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite Christmas story? The Fright Before Christmas.
- Why do birds fly south for the winter? It’s faster than walking!
- What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas? Santa Jaws!
- Why do reindeer have bells? Because their horns don’t work.
Best Puns About Holidays
- What do you call a snowman party? A snowball!
- If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes.
- Why did the Christmas tree quit playing chess? Because it couldn’t handle the knight moves.
- What do you call a broke Santa? Saint Nickel-less.
- What happens when you eat Christmas ornaments? You get tinsel in your intestines.
- Why is Santa so good at karate? Because he has a black belt.
- Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care!
- How does a gingerbread man make his bed? With cookie sheets!
- Why did the turkey join the band? Because it had the drumsticks.
- What kind of photos do elves take? Elf-ies!
- What’s Santa’s favorite kind of music? Wrap!
- How do you know when Santa’s around? You can sense his presents.
- Why was the ornament addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees.
- What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
- Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb? Because it would say, “Baa humbug!”
- When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving? In the dictionary.
- Why did the reindeer need braces? He had buck teeth.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? The Abdominable Snowman.
- How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prints.
- Why do Christmas trees like the past so much? Because the present’s beneath them.
- Why was the math book sad around Christmas? It had too many problems.
- What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Kringle.
- What do you call a blind reindeer? No eye-deer.
- What do you call an old snowman? Water!
- What do you get when you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle smells!
- How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet? Only 25, there’s no L (Noel)!
- What does Jack Frost like best about school? Snow and tell.
- What’s the best thing to put into a Christmas cake? Your teeth!
- What does a queen in a Christmas pageant wave? A holly branch.
- What did the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine? This will sleigh you.
Best Happy Holidays Puns
- Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the bad girls live.
- What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
- How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas? Deep pan, crisp and even.
- What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps!
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
- How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle.
- What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.
- Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles.
- What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!
- How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees his whole life.
- What do you call a scary looking reindeer? A cariboo!
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite!
- What kind of ball doesn’t bounce? A snowball.
- What do you call an old snowman? A puddle!
- Why do mummies like the holidays? They’re into all the wrapping.
- What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck? A Christmas Quacker!
- Why don’t reindeer like picnics? They keep getting antlers in their food!
- What’s white, red, and blue at Christmas time? A sad candy cane!
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a dog? Frostbite.
- What do elves post on Social Media? Elf-ies!
- What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments!
- What does Santa do in his garden? He ho ho ho’s!
- What do you get if Santa goes down a lit chimney? Crisp Kringle.
- How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!
- What’s a child’s favorite king at Christmas? A stocking!
- Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose!
- What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had a low “elf” esteem!
- What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backwards!
Best Jokes About Holidays
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
- Why don’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
- How do you know Santa is a man? No woman would wear the same outfit year after year.
- What do reindeer say before they tell a joke? This one will sleigh you!
- Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it’s too far to walk.
- How does a snowman get to work? By icicle.
- What do you call an old snowman? Water!
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time? Sandy Claws.
- Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? Because he was feeling crummy.
- What do you call a can wearing a Christmas hat? A merry can.
- What happens when you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinselitis.
- What’s Santa’s favorite snack food? Crisp Pringles.
- Why was the Christmas tree bad at knitting? Because it always dropped its needles.
- How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles immaculate? He uses Comet.
- Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care.
- Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim.
- What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck? A Christmas Quacker.
- Why was the smartphone a must-have gift at Christmas? It had a great ‘Santa’ rating.
- What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
- Why do mummies like the holiday season? Because of all the wrapping.
- What do you get when you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle Smells.
- What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson.
- How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico? Fleece Navidad!
- What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Krisp Kringle.
- What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum—you just can’t beat it!
- What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
- How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet? Only 25, there’s no L (Noel)!
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
- How does a snowman lose weight? He waits for the weather to get warmer.
Conclusion
The holidays are a time of joy, and what better way to spread that joy than with a good laugh? From Christmas tree puns to Santa’s reindeer jokes, these 230+ funny holiday puns, jokes, and one-liners will keep your spirits high and your heart light. Remember, the best way to enjoy the season is to share it with others—preferably with a pun or two! So, as you go about your holiday preparations, don’t forget to sprinkle a little humor along with the holiday cheer. Whether you’re wrapping presents, baking cookies, or just hanging out with loved ones, a good pun can always make the moments more memorable.
I’m James Wilson, your punny guide at “Haha Puns,” the wittiest place on the internet! I’ve been diving into the ocean of puns, uncovering the most hilarious wordplay to tickle your funny bone. With a knack for humor that’s pun-derful, I’m here to make your online journey a laugh riot. Join me on this pun-filled adventure, and let’s explore the punniest corners of the internet together!
