120+ Mustache Puns: Jokes And One-Liners

Mustaches have been a symbol of masculinity, sophistication, and sometimes just plain silliness throughout history. Whether you’re a fan of the classic handlebar or prefer the subtle stubble, there’s something undeniably charming about a well-groomed ‘stache. 

But beyond their aesthetic appeal, mustaches also serve as fertile ground for humor and wordplay. So, sit back, relax, and prepare to indulge in 120+ mustache puns, jokes, and one-liners that are sure to tickle your funny bone.

Mustache Puns

• When the barber asked if I wanted a mustache trim, I replied, “Sure, I mustache you a question.”
• He decided to grow a mustache during quarantine, but it ended up being a “shave” of disappointment.
• My mustache and I are in a committed relationship. It’s definitely growing on me.
• Why did the mustache go to school? To get a little bit of class!
• I mustache you to pardon my laughter, but your mustache is just so comical!
• My mustache is like a fingerprint; it’s unique and can leave an impression.
• A mustache may not solve all your problems, but it’s a great start!
• He tried to shave his mustache, but it was a hairy situation.
• My dad told me to shave off my mustache. I said, “Over my dead body!”
• When in doubt, grow it out! That’s the mustache motto.
• I asked the detective about his mustache, but he said it was top secret.
• Why did the mustache cross the road? To get to the hairy side!
• I mustache you to hold my calls; I’m having a serious grooming session.
• Mustaches are like onions; they have layers of style.
• He couldn’t decide whether to shave his mustache, but in the end, it was a close shave.
• My mustache has its own zip code because it’s so well-groomed!
• I didn’t choose the mustache life; the mustache life chose me.
• Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing… and the mustache!
• My mustache is my secret weapon; it always raises the bar.
• I mustache you to speak up; I can’t hear you over the sound of my awesomeness!
• I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.
• His mustache was so long, he had to tuck it into his shirt to eat soup!
• Mustaches are like a fine wine; they only get better with age.
• I told him he needed a mustache to join the club; he said he’d “whisker” it over.
• My mustache has a mind of its own; it’s always making split-second decisions.
• Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired of the mustache jokes!
• I mustache you to stop staring at my upper lip; it’s rude to gawk!
• My mustache is like a superhero; it always comes to the rescue!
• He thought about shaving his mustache, but then he realized it was a “hair-raising” decision.
• I mustache you to keep this between us; it’s a top-secret ‘stache operation.
• His mustache was so thick; he got mistaken for a bear in hibernation!
• I mustache you to excuse my lateness; I got caught up in a grooming emergency.
• He tried to trim his mustache, but it ended up looking like a hairy caterpillar.
• Why did the mustache get a ticket? Because it was parked in a no-shave zone!
• My mustache is my best friend; it’s always there to lend a hairy hand.
• He thought about shaving his mustache, but then he realized it was his mane attraction.
• I mustache you to stop laughing; my upper lip is sensitive!
• His mustache was so long; he had to tie it back to keep it out of his soup!
• Why was the mustache afraid to tell a joke? It was worried it wouldn’t get a good ‘stache!
• I mustache you to join me for a cup of coffee; it’s time for some stimulating conversation!

Mustache Jokes

• Why did the mustache go to the party? Because it was a “hair-raising” affair!
• What did the mustache say to the mirror? “I ‘mustache’ you a question!”
• How does a mustache keep its shape? With a little bit of “must-stiff.”
• Why did the mustache get in trouble at school? Because it couldn’t stop “mustache-ing” around!
• What did the mustache say to the razor? “I mustache you to be gentle; it’s my first time!”
• Why did the mustache break up with the beard? Because it couldn’t handle the “hairy” situation!
• What do you call a fake mustache? A “moo-stache” (moustache)!
• How did the mustache propose to his girlfriend? With a “hairy” ring!
• Why did the mustache go to the doctor? It had a case of “split-ends!”
• What’s a mustache’s favorite drink? A “whisker-y” sour!
• Why did the mustache become a detective? Because it wanted to “whisker” down the truth!
• What do you call a mustache that’s also a musician? A “mustachioed” maestro!
• How does a mustache greet its friends? With a “hairy” hug!
• Why was the mustache invited to the party? Because it was the “life of the ‘stache!”
• What’s a mustache’s favorite type of music? “Heavy metal” because it’s always headbanging!
• Why did the mustache go to the beach? To catch some “rays” and show off its beach ‘stache!
• What do you call a mustache that’s a bit too long? “A mustache in need of a trim!”
• Why did the mustache join a band? Because it had a great “stache” of rhythm!
• How does a mustache answer the phone? With a “hairy” hello!
• What’s a mustache’s favorite holiday? “Christmas,” because it gets to hang out with Santa’s “beard!”
• Why did the mustache go to the baseball game? To catch some “fly” balls with its whiskers!
• What’s a mustache’s favorite type of car? A “mus-stang,” of course!
• Why did the mustache go to the art gallery? To admire the “masterpieces” on the walls!
• How does a mustache stay in shape? With a “hairy” workout, of course!
• What’s a mustache’s favorite movie genre? “Whisker” thrillers!
• Why did the mustache go to the zoo? To see its “whisker-ed” friends!
• What’s a mustache’s favorite TV show? “Whisker-ing Bad!”
• Why did the mustache become a comedian? Because it had great “stache-telling” skills!
• How does a mustache stay warm in the winter? With a cozy “furry” scarf!
• What do you call a mustache that’s also a scientist? A “labra-tache” (laboratory mustache)!
• Why did the mustache get a job as a bartender? Because it was great at “mixing” things up!
• What’s a mustache’s favorite game? “Pin the ‘stache on the face!”
• Why did the mustache become a chef? Because it had a great “taste” in food!
• What do you call a mustache that’s also a superhero? A “super-‘stache”!
• Why did the mustache go to the party alone? Because it couldn’t find a “stache” partner!
• What’s a mustache’s favorite hobby? “Whisker” painting!
• Why did the mustache become a teacher? Because it had a lot of “class!”
• What do you call a mustache that’s also a pirate? A “bucca-‘stache”!
• Why did the mustache become a firefighter? Because it was great at “putting out” fires!
• What’s a mustache’s favorite sport? “Soccer,” because it’s always “kicking” with style!

Read Also: Pharmacist Puns: Jokes And One-Liners

Mustache One-Liners

• I mustache you to pardon my laughter; your mustache is just so dashing!
• Growing a mustache is like a fine art; it requires patience, precision, and a good sense of humor.
• My mustache is like a silent guardian; it watches over me with great style.
• A well-groomed mustache is a sign of a man who pays attention to detail.
• Why did the mustache go to the party? Because it knew it would be the center of attention!
• I mustache you to hold my calls; I’m busy perfecting my ‘stache game.
• My mustache may not be perfect, but it’s mine, and that’s all that matters.
• I mustache you to stop and appreciate the elegance of a well-crafted ‘stache.
• He thought about shaving his mustache, but then he realized it was his defining feature.
• Why did the mustache become a diplomat? Because it knew how to “smooth” things over!
• My mustache is like a work of art; it’s open to interpretation, but always admired.
• I mustache you to keep a straight face while I deliver these puns; it’s a hairy business.
• Why did the mustache start a band? Because it had great “stache-tic!”
• My mustache has a personality of its own; it’s the life of the upper lip party!
• I mustache you to excuse my lateness; I got caught up in a grooming emergency.
• His mustache was so long; he had to tie it back to keep it out of his soup!
• Why did the mustache become a detective? Because it wanted to “whisker” down the truth!
• My mustache is my best friend; it’s always there to lend a hairy hand.
• I mustache you to join me for a cup of coffee; it’s time for some stimulating conversation!
• Why did the mustache join a band? Because it had a great “stache” of rhythm!
• He thought about shaving his mustache, but then he realized it was a “hair-raising” decision.
• My mustache is like a superhero; it always comes to the rescue!
• I mustache you to stop laughing; my upper lip is sensitive!
• Why did the mustache go to the party alone? Because it couldn’t find a “stache” partner!
• What’s a mustache’s favorite hobby? “Whisker” painting!
• My mustache and I are in a committed relationship; it’s definitely growing on me.
• I mustache you to speak up; I can’t hear you over the sound of my awesomeness!
• Why did the mustache go to the beach? To catch some “rays” and show off its beach ‘stache!
• What do you call a mustache that’s a bit too long? “A mustache in need of a trim!”
• I mustache you to keep this between us; it’s a top-secret ‘stache operation.
• How does a mustache greet its friends? With a “hairy” hug!
• Why was the mustache afraid to tell a joke? It was worried it wouldn’t get a good ‘stache!
• My mustache is like a fingerprint; it’s unique and can leave an impression.
• I mustache you to stop staring at my upper lip; it’s rude to gawk!
• Why did the mustache become a chef? Because it had a great “taste” in food!
• Mustaches are like onions; they have layers of style.
• He couldn’t decide whether to shave his mustache, but in the end, it was a close shave.
• I mustache you to hold my calls; I’m having a serious grooming session.
• Why did the mustache cross the road? To get to the hairy side!
• y mustache has its own zip code because it’s so well-groomed!

Conclusion

In conclusion, mustache puns, jokes, and one-liners are not only a source of laughter but also a celebration of the quirky, charming nature of these facial adornments. From witty wordplay to clever quips, the world of mustache humor is as diverse as the ‘staches themselves. So, whether you’re sporting a classic handlebar or a subtle stubble, remember to embrace the humor in your upper lip adornment. Let these puns and jokes serve as a reminder to never take your mustache too seriously and always keep your sense of humor as well-groomed as your ‘stache.