95+ Plum Puns: Jokes And One-Liners

Plums are more than just a sweet treat; they’re also a fantastic source of humor! Whether you’re a fan of juicy puns, tart one-liners, or rib-tickling jokes, plums provide ample material for a pun-tastic laugh fest. 

From punny quips that will make you smile to jokes that are plum hilarious, this collection has something for everyone. So, let’s dive into the delightful world of plum puns, jokes, and one-liners. Get ready to have a punderful time!

Funny Plum Puns

• I tried to write a novel about plums, but I couldn’t find the write prune!
• I changed my iPhone’s name to “Plum” because it always runs out of juice.
• When plums are sad, do they feel plum-derful?
• Never lie to a plum—they find everything ap-peel-ing!
• I plum forgot to bring you plums!
• Plums are the best at parties—they really know how to jam!
• If you have a plum, and I have a plum, do we have a plum-pire?
• Why did the plum stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice!
• Learning to prune plums is a fruit-full experience.
• When two plums are friends, do they call each other “pom-pals”?
• Plums don’t go on vacations—they prefer fruit-stays.
• A plum’s favorite school subject is hiss-plum-ry.
• You shouldn’t write secrets in a plum diary; it’s too juicy.
• A plum’s favorite exercise is the pulp-up.
• Plums don’t make good secrets keepers—they tend to split.
• Never play hide and seek with a plum—they’re always spotted.
• When a plum crosses the road, traffic comes to a fruit stop.
• If you want to get a job at a plum factory, you must show your plummitment.
• My favorite plum broke up with his girlfriend; he said she was too pit-y.
• Plums love computers—they’re always working on their tablets.

Funny Plum Jokes

• Why did the plum go out with a prune? Because he couldn’t find a date!
• What did the grape say to the plum? “Stop whining, you’re already well-rounded!”
• How do you make a plum turnover? Push it down a hill!
• What do you get when you cross a plum with a man eating tiger? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t try taking its fruit!
• Why was the plum always picked first in sports? Because it was out-standing in its field!
• What do you call a sad plum? A blueberry.
• Why are plums never lonely? Because they come in pears!
• What’s a plum’s favorite TV show? “Game of Stones.”
• Why did the plum join a band? Because it had the best jam!
• What’s a plum’s favorite horror movie? “Silence of the Jams.”
• How do you fix a broken plum? With a fruit patch.
• Why don’t plums play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
• What did one plum say to the other before a race? May the best fruit win!
• Why did the plum write a letter? Because it wanted to be pen-pals!
• Why did the plum stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!
• How do you organize a fantastic space party? You planet with plums!
• What do you call a plum that’s a hero? A superfruit!
• What did the plum say to its child at bedtime? “Have plum sweet dreams!”
• Why did the plum go to school? To improve its core curriculum!
• What do plums wear to go swimming? Fruit trunks!

Read More: FUNNY APPLE PICKING PUNS AND JOKES: A BARREL OF LAUGHS

Funny Plum One-Liners

• Plums are the best fruit; they’re simply unbeatable.
• If life gives you plums, make prune juice and confuse everyone!
• A good plum is hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
• All’s fair in love and plums.
• Plums have the best job, they’re always in the limelight.
• Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a plum.
• I told a plum joke, but it was too fruity for my audience.
• I find these plum puns ap-peel-ing!
• Plums – they’re plum-tastic!
• You’re the plummy in my custard, the essential ingredient in my life.
• The way to a man’s heart is through a plum.
• I plum-derstood that reference!
• Be careful not to slip on this plum joke!
• Keep calm and plum on.
• Plums don’t argue, they jam.
• A rolling plum gathers no moss.
• I had a plum pun, but I forgot it—now it’s a jam.
• When life gets tough, just keep plumming along.
• You had me at “hello”; you lost me at “no plums.”
• Plum in love with these jokes!

Best Puns About Plum

• Plums really raise the bar when it comes to fruit humor.
• When plums are around, fun is never far.
• I like my friends like I like my plums—sweet and well-rounded.
• Plums know how to get to the core of any issue.
• Having a plum around is always a fruitful experience.
• Some say apples are the best fruit, but I say plums have them beat.
• Plums have a way of turning any frown upside-down.
• Just plum-believe it!
• If you want to be happy for a lifetime, be a plum.
• Plum sure you’re going to love these jokes.
• Plums: they’re nature’s sweet little secrets.
• My love for plums is a never-ending pit.
• Plums have a stone-cold reputation in the fruit world.
• You can’t have a plum fairytale without a few pits!
• Plums have a knack for pitting people against each other in fruit contests.
• I find plum puns very a-peel-ing.
• Plums don’t panic; they pit-sever.
• Every good knight needs his squire and every good fruit bowl needs its plum.
• Don’t be pit-iful; be plum-derful!
• Let’s plum-p up the jam!