130+ Bones Puns: Jokes And One-Liners

Bones are often associated with spookiness and morbidity, yet they have a humorous side too! Whether it’s Halloween, a biology class, or just a regular day when you need a good laugh, bone puns, jokes, and one-liners can be just what the doctor ordered. 

Let’s dive into a rib-tickling collection of bone-related humor that’s guaranteed to make you and your friends laugh your skulls off.

Funny Bones Puns

• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
• Why are bones so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
• What do you call a skeleton who won’t work? Lazy bones.
• Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball? He had no body to go with.
• Why do skeletons hate winter? The cold goes right through them.
• What do you call a skeleton who presses the doorbell? A dead ringer.
• Why don’t skeletons use cell phones? They’d rather use the tele-bone.
• What musical instrument do skeletons play? The trom-bone.
• Why did the skeleton start a fight? He had a bone to pick.
• What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley? “I’m bone to be wild!”
• What do you call a skeleton detective? Sherlock Bones.
• How do skeletons communicate? On a tele-bone.
• Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? He didn’t have the guts.
• What did the skeleton order at the restaurant? Spare ribs.
• Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees? They’re lumber-bones.
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The saxa-bone.
• Why did the skeleton go to church? To play the organ.
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant? A bone-sai tree.
• Why did the skeleton go to jail? For possession of a skele-ton of illegal bones.
• What do you call a well-dressed skeleton? A bone-afide gentleman.
• How do skeletons know it’s going to rain? They can feel it in their bones.
• What do you call an angry bone? A cross-bone.
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite activity at school? Skull and crossbones.
• Why was the skeleton so good at lying? You can’t see his poker face.
• What does a skeleton order at a barbecue? Ribs.
• What do you call a skeleton snake? A rattler.
• What does a skeleton bring to a potluck? Macaroni and cheese.
• Why don’t skeletons play music in church? They have no organs.
• How do skeletons call their friends? On the skele-phone.
• Why do skeletons make great spies? They can skeleton-key into any room.
• What did the osteopathic doctor say to the skeleton? I find this humerus.
• Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin!
• What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room? The living room.
• Why did the skeleton climb up the tree? Because a dog was after his bones.
• What do you call a skeleton in the closet? Last year’s hide-and-seek champion.
• What was the skeleton’s favorite rock band? The Grateful Dead.
• Why do skeletons drink milk? To help their bones!
• What game do little skeletons play? Marrow-go-round.
• Why did the skeleton refuse to play football? His heart wasn’t in it.
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite food? Bone-appetit!

Funny Bones Jokes

• Why did the skeleton quit his job at the museum? He didn’t have enough backbone for the work.
• How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle his funny bone!
• What do you call it when a skeleton is having a great time? Bone-jour!
• What did the skeleton say before dining? Bone appetit!
• What kind of art do skeletons like? Skull-ptures.
• Why don’t skeletons play church music? They have no organs.
• Why do skeletons stay so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
• Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the prom? He had no-body to dance with.
• How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He could feel it in his bones.
• What do you call a skeleton who won’t wake up? A lazy bone.
• Why was the skeleton so lonely? He was bone-ly.
• What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
• Why was the skeleton using a phone? To bone up on his social skills.
• What do you call a skeleton who breaks into a house? A skeleton key.
• How did the skeleton get into art school? By drawing a skeleton!
• What do skeletons say before they begin dining? Bone appétit!
• Why did the skeleton stay out in the snow too long? He was a numbskull.
• Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin!
• Why do skeletons hate the winter? The cold goes right through them.
• What do you call a skeleton that won’t get up in the morning? Lazy bones.
• How do skeletons communicate? By cell bone.
• What did the skeleton say to his vampire friend? You suck the life out of me.
• What do you call a skeleton who throws a tantrum? A bonehead.
• Why do skeletons decorate their homes with tinsel at Christmas? For the skull and cross-bones effect.
• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
• What do you call a skeleton that’s always telling lies? A fib-ula.
• Why was the skeleton a good cheerleader? Because he had spirit!
• What do you call an old skeleton in a closet? Last year’s hide and seek champion.
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trombone.
• Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He had no guts.
• Why do skeletons hate windy days? It chills them to the bone.
• What do you call a skeleton cop? Sherlock Bones.
• Why do skeletons hate arguments? They can’t stand the rattling.
• What did the skeleton bring to the potluck? Spare ribs.
• Why don’t skeletons like parties? They have no body to dance with.
• How do skeletons get their mail? Through the bony express.
• What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow? A numb-skull.
• What did one skeleton say to the other? I’ve got a bone to pick with you!
• What do skeletons drink? Ghoul-aid.
• Why are skeletons so bad at lying? You can see right through them.

Funny Bones One-Liners

• What’s a skeleton’s favorite room? The living room, ironically.
• Why did the skeleton hit the party solo? He had no-body to go with.
• What do you get when you cross a skeleton and a detective? Sherlock Bones.
• How do skeletons say hello? “Bone to meet you!”
• Why did the skeleton stay out in the storm? He was a bonehead.
• What’s a skeleton’s least favorite musical instrument? The organ.
• Why was the skeleton a great comedian? He always had a funny bone.
• What do you call an adventurous skeleton? Indiana Bones.
• Why do skeletons make great friends? They’re all about marrow-ty.
• Why did the skeleton sit on the piano bench? To play the bones.
• Why did the skeleton refuse an appetizer? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite type of story? A rib-tickler.
• Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? They have no-body to go with.
• How do skeletons know when it’s time to wind down? When they feel bone-tired.
• What’s the best way to make a skeleton laugh? Tickle its funny bone.
• Why don’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the stomach for it.
• What do you call a skeleton who won’t get up in the morning? Bone-idle.
• Why did the skeleton go disco dancing? To show off his funky bone moves.
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite weather? A dead calm.
• Why did the skeleton refuse to play chess? His heart wasn’t in it.
• Why don’t skeletons like to eat spicy food? It goes right through them.
• Why did the skeleton stay at the party all night? He had no-body to go home to.
• Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? To bone up on his grilling skills.
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite drink? A bony-tonic.
• Why don’t skeletons play music in a band? They don’t have the guts for it.
• Why did the skeleton read novels? He liked spine-tingling tales.
• Why don’t skeletons watch scary movies? They can’t handle the suspense.
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite airline? Scare Canada.
• Why did the skeleton visit the steakhouse? He wanted to beef up his bones.
• What’s a skeleton’s least favorite place? Anywhere heartwarming.
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite activity? Bone-dancing.
• Why was the skeleton so tidy? He liked to keep his skull and bones in order.
• Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.
• Why do skeletons hate arguments? They don’t want things to escalate to a bone of contention.
• What do you call a skeleton who gets all A’s? A bone-afide genius.
• Why did the skeleton start a garden? He wanted to grow some spine-chilling peppers.
• Why don’t skeletons drink tea? It rattles them.
• Why did the skeleton refuse to play football? He didn’t have the heart for it.
• What do skeletons say when boarding a plane? “Bone voyage!”
• Why are skeletons so chill? Because they’re cool to the bone.

Conclusion

Skeleton puns and jokes are a fantastic way to spook up a laugh among friends, especially around Halloween or in any setting that appreciates a little dark humor.