105+ Cabbage Puns: Jokes And One-Liners

Cabbages, with their layers of leafy goodness, might not be everyone’s idea of dinner delight, but they surely make a great ingredient for some wholesome humor. If you’re looking to spice up your conversation with some crisp, leafy puns or drop a joke that will have everyone laughing out ‘slaw-dly’, you’ve come to the right place! 

From puns that are perfectly pun-dant to jokes that will ferment any frown into a smile, here’s a collection of over 105 cabbage-related quips.

Funny Cabbage Puns

• I’m all about that baste, no cabbage.
• Lettuce turnip the beet with these cabbage puns!
• I heard a joke about cabbage but it was too corn-y.
• That cabbage is ahead of its time.
• If you want to make friends, leaf it to cabbage!
• Never trust a cabbage to keep a secret, they tend to slaw-ber.
• A cabbage’s favorite music? R & Brie.
• I met a cabbage today, he was absolutely radishing.
• Cabbages make great historians, they always remember to cole-slaw the facts.
• Don’t try to kale my vibe!
• Let’s give ‘em something to taco ‘bout – how about that cabbage?
• Cabbages have layers too, they’re the ogres of the vegetable kingdom!
• That cabbage looks lonely, maybe it needs some cumpunny.
• I just won a cabbage in a contest. Now, I’m feeling like a big dill.
• Why did the cabbage win an award? Because it was outstanding in its field!
• Cabbages are great dancers – they do the best head spins.
• I’d make a cabbage joke, but it might leaf you feeling sour.
• My love for you is like a cabbage – it goes on layer and layer.
• A cabbage’s favorite sport? Frisbee – they love throwing around the disc.
• Why don’t cabbages make good secrets? Because they’re too easy to spill the beans.
• What did one cabbage say to the other? Let’s get sauced!
• Cabbages are great at poker – they always have a couple of aces up their sleeve.
• Why did the cabbage stop in its tracks? Because it saw the salad dressing.
• Always be careful around cabbages – they’ve been known to turnip unexpectedly.
• Do you have any raisin? No? How about cabbage for a date?
• I like my friends like I like my cabbage – close and leafy.
• What’s a cabbage’s favorite horror movie? Silence of the Yams.
• What’s a cabbage’s favorite type of joke? Anything that’s punny.
• I told my wife she was peeling the cabbage wrong, but she said it was ‘fine-apple’.
• When cabbages travel, they like to pack a lot of suit-chard.

Funny Cabbage Jokes

• Why did the cabbage start a podcast? Because it wanted to give people something to chew on.
• How do cabbages stay fresh? They keep a cool head.
• What do you call a stolen cabbage? Hot slaw!
• Why are cabbages wise? Because they really know their roots.
• How does a cabbage practice self-care? By taking it vine day at a time.
• Why was the cabbage in the fridge embarrassed? It saw the salad dressing!
• What’s a cabbage’s favorite game? Leaf frog.
• Why don’t cabbages trust anyone? Because they’re always being stalked.
• What do you call an emotionally unavailable cabbage? Hard-hearted.
• Why do cabbages win at sports? Because they’re always ahead.
• What’s a cabbage’s favorite novel? “Gone with the Wind,” because it’s full of hot air.
• Why was the cabbage comedian booed off stage? His jokes were too corny!
• What do you call a cabbage who becomes a priest? A father of peas.
• How did the cabbage get a raise? By working its bud off!
• Why was the cabbage detained? For stalking in the kitchen.
• What do you call a cabbage detective? Sherlock Coles.
• What did the cabbage say to the carrot? “Romaine calm!”
• Why did the cabbage go to therapy? It had too many layers to unpack.
• How do you fix a broken cabbage? With a cabbage patch!
• Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the cabbage dressing!
• What does a cabbage say before it gets eaten? “Lettuce pray.”
• What do you get if you cross a cabbage with a spider? Brussels sprout.
• Why do cabbages make bad librarians? Because they always spill the beans.
• Why did the cabbage win an Oscar? For being outstanding in its field.
• What do you call a cabbage who knows karate? Pork chop.
• How do you greet a cabbage? With a “hello-slaw”!
• Why do cabbages make horrible confidants? They just can’t keep their lips sealed.
• What’s a cabbage’s favorite studio? Universal Leaf Studios.
• What do you call a cabbage that likes to throw things? A sauerkraut.
• Why did the cabbage join the orchestra? Because it had the best drumhead.

Funny Cabbage One-Liners

• I’m just here for the party said the coleslaw.
• Cabbages: bet you can’t eat just one layer!
• Talk about being in a pickle, I forgot to buy the cabbage!
• “Keep your friends close and your cabbages closer,” said the wise veg.
• Why don’t cabbages make good sailors? They’re too green.
• If you’re seeing things, planting cabbages might not be your field.
• Cabbages have the best hearts – they’re in the right leaf.
• You can count on cabbages – they always turn up!
• Cabbages are the heartiest of all vegetables – they keep it close to their hearts.
• When life gives you cabbages, make slaw.
• Ever tried a cabbage smoothie? It’s a hard swallow.
• Cabbages are never alone, they always hang out in bunches.
• A cabbage’s life motto: Take it one leaf at a time.
• Cabbages – the only veg that can make a meal and a dress.
• Never play hide and seek with a cabbage – they’re always a head.
• In the mood for a comedy? Let’s turnip the beet and watch a cabbage stand-up.
• Cabbages: because who doesn’t want more layers to their personality?
• You might be a cabbage if your best friend says you have a lot of layers.
• Cabbages – they’re always ahead in the garden.
• Why do cabbages never start anything? They leaf it to someone else.
• I’d tell you a cabbage joke but I don’t want to slaw things down.
• Want to hear a dirty joke? A cabbage fell in the mud.
• Cabbages are the philosophers of the vegetable world – always pondering the meaning of leaf.
• Keep calm and curry on, said the cabbage.
• I’m on a seafood diet, I see food and I make it coleslaw.
• When asked to share, cabbages say, “Over my dead leaves.”
• Always be yourself, unless you can be a cabbage, then be a cabbage.
• Why don’t cabbages make good actors? They always choke under pressure.
• A cabbage walks into a bar… and raises the salad bar.
• If you need something done, ask a busy cabbage.

Conclusion

Cabbages might just be the funniest vegetables in the patch! With their endless layers and robust nature, they provide endless fodder for puns, jokes, and one-liners that can lighten up any conversation. Whether you’re at a party, in a meeting, or just hanging out with friends, dropping one of these cabbage quips is sure to earn you some laughs, or at least a groan.