Columbus Day, an occasion often marked by both celebration and controversy, provides ample opportunity for humor, reflection, and yes, plenty of puns.
Whether you’re looking to break the ice at a Columbus Day event or just want to share a chuckle with friends and family, this compilation of puns, jokes, and one-liners themed around Christopher Columbus and his voyages will surely do the trick.
Funny Columbus Puns
- Why was Columbus a great comedian? Because he knew how to land a joke.
- What do you call a stormy day in Columbus’ fleet? Chris-crossed weather.
- Why was Columbus like a clock at midnight? Because when he reached the land, it was a new day!
- What did Columbus say to his crew when they didn’t want to wake up early? “Don’t worry; we’ll lose an hour when we cross the timeline.”
- Why did Columbus have such a hard time focusing? Too many thoughts were crossing his mind.
- What kind of music did Columbus’ crew listen to? Navi-gator tunes.
- How did Columbus report to the Queen of Spain about his journey? “I’ve just scratched the surface.”
- Why couldn’t Columbus find the remote? Because he left it in a whole New World!
- What’s Columbus’ favorite card game? Go fish, across the Atlantic.
- Why did Columbus set sail from Spain? He wanted to spice up his life!
- How did Columbus speak to his ship? He used stern language.
- Why did Columbus make a great detective? He could always discover the hidden clues.
- What was Columbus’ favorite subject in school? Geography, he always knew where he was going!
- Why didn’t Columbus use a map? He liked the element of surprise.
- What do you call it when Columbus makes friends with all the locals? A discovery channel.
- How did Columbus react when he first saw the land? It was a sight for shore eyes.
- What’s Columbus’ favorite strategy game? Risk, because he’s always taking over new territories.
- Why do Columbus’ friends always play cards with him? Because he’s good at taking new suits.
- Why did the ocean break up with Columbus? It couldn’t handle the long-distance relationship.
- What’s Columbus’ favorite web browser? Explorer, naturally.
- How did Columbus write such catchy diaries? He had a knack for making history.
- What do you call a nervous Columbus? A worry-gator.
- Why was Columbus a bad bowler? He thought he could reach the pins by sailing.
- What did Columbus use to light his ship? Na-vi-lights.
- What do you call Columbus when he’s cooking? Chef Navigator.
- Why did Columbus stay calm during the storm? Because he knew every cloud has a new horizon.
- What was Columbus’ favorite animal? The sea-lion, for its courage and exploration.
- What does Columbus wear to stay fashionable? Boat ties.
- Why is Columbus bad at chess? Because he thinks every move is a game-changer.
- What’s Columbus’ least favorite movie? “Lost in Translation” – he never liked getting lost.
Funny Columbus Puns And Jokes
- Why did Columbus create a tennis team? He heard about new courts across the sea.
- What did the Atlantic say to Columbus? “Stop following me!”
- How do you throw a space party? You planet just like Columbus did.
- Why did Columbus have trouble with his phone? He couldn’t find the right port to charge.
- What’s Columbus’ favorite kind of tea? Navi-tea.
- Why do history books find Columbus admirable? Because he made quite an entrance.
- What’s the first thing Columbus looked for in a new place? The Wi-Fi password.
- Why are Columbus’ jokes so good? They make history laugh!
- What type of vegetable did Columbus explore? See-kale.
- Why was Columbus’ map always wet? It had too many coasts!
- Why didn’t Columbus start a bakery? He couldn’t find the yeast Indies.
- What did Columbus wear to his first voyage? A cap-size.
- How did Columbus begin his sea journey? By sea-lecting a good ship.
- Why did Columbus’ ship always rock? Because it had great musicians!
- What’s Columbus’ least favorite weather? No sail weather.
- How did Columbus communicate with his crew? Ship to shore radio.
- What do you get if you cross Columbus and an octopus? A map with ink spots.
- Why did Columbus go to the gym? To stay ship-shape!
- What’s Columbus’ favorite movie genre? Historical fiction – it’s all about the re-plot!
- Why did Columbus sail across the Atlantic? Because he couldn’t walk on water.
- Why did Columbus have to clean his ship? It was a little dusty from all the sea miles.
- How did Columbus organize his ships? In columns, naturally.
- Why was Columbus never lost at sea? He followed the stars!
- What’s Columbus’ favorite yoga pose? The warrior, for conquering new lands.
- What did Columbus use to fix his broken ship? Duct tape from the Indies.
- Why don’t people play hide and seek with Columbus? Because good luck hiding on a boat!
- What did Columbus say when he got sick at sea? “I think I have the boat flu.”
- Why did Columbus like to journal? Because diaries are ships that never sink.
- Why did Columbus cross the ocean? To get to the other tide.
- Why did Columbus have a cat on his ship? For good mew-sical company.
Funny Columbus Puns And One-Liners
- Columbus’ crew hates playing cards with him; he always takes the lead on new suits.
- Only Columbus could go to India and miss it by thousands of miles but still call it a success.
- Columbus was the original Eastern influencer.
- To Columbus, “taking the scenic route” meant sailing the ocean blue.
- Columbus probably wouldn’t excel in today’s GPS world – he’d miss the journey.
- When Columbus slept, he didn’t snore, he roared across seas.
- If Columbus had a cooking show, it’d be called ‘Spice Routes’.
- Columbus’ idea of a network connection was a bunch of ships tied together.
- If Columbus had been a lawyer, he’d have been the best at finding loopholes across continents.
- “Follow the sun,” they said. So Columbus did, all the way to a new continent.
- Columbus didn’t use bookmarks; he preferred to make history on every page.
- Imagine Columbus at a car dealership: “I’ll take the one with the best mileage across water.”
- Columbus’ favorite science was physics; he loved the motion of the ocean.
- Why don’t you ever play hide and seek with Columbus? Because even if you hide, he’ll claim he discovered you.
- Columbus is the reason we need to specify East or West Indies.
- Columbus probably thought “cloud storage” was just a stormy day at sea.
- When asked what he achieved, Columbus might say, “Just a small step for a man, a giant leap across the ocean.”
- If Columbus had a GPS, it would probably say, “Re-calculating” all the time.
- Columbus in a digital age would be lost; he liked his maps old-school.
- Why did Columbus love geometry? Because life’s about the journey, not the arrival.
- If Columbus were alive today, he’d be the most adventurous travel blogger.
- Columbus was the original advocate for taking the road less traveled – or in his case, the ocean.
- Every day was a “throwback Thursday” for Columbus – back to the old maps and routes.
- Columbus didn’t just travel; he made globetrotting a trend.
- If Columbus could see us today, he’d probably wonder why we’re not all sailing somewhere.
- Columbus’ idea of a good time was charting the uncharted.
- Columbus was into water sports before it was cool – sailing, mostly.
- Did Columbus ever get lost? No, he was always at sea.
- Columbus’ navigation style was less “turn right in 200 meters,” more “keep going until we hit land.”
- “I’ve discovered the perfect route,” said Columbus, probably every day.
I’m Justin Taylor, your go-to guy at “Haha Puns,” the punniest place on the internet! I’ve been playing with words to bring you the most side-splitting puns around. At Haha Puns, we’re all about turning your day into a laughter extravaganza. Come along, and let’s dive into the world of puns where every click guarantees a chuckle!
