90+ Columbus Day Puns, Jokes, and One-Liners

Columbus Day, an occasion often marked by both celebration and controversy, provides ample opportunity for humor, reflection, and yes, plenty of puns. 

Whether you’re looking to break the ice at a Columbus Day event or just want to share a chuckle with friends and family, this compilation of puns, jokes, and one-liners themed around Christopher Columbus and his voyages will surely do the trick.

Funny Columbus Puns

• Why was Columbus a great comedian? Because he knew how to land a joke.
• What do you call a stormy day in Columbus’ fleet? Chris-crossed weather.
• Why was Columbus like a clock at midnight? Because when he reached the land, it was a new day!
• What did Columbus say to his crew when they didn’t want to wake up early? “Don’t worry; we’ll lose an hour when we cross the timeline.”
• Why did Columbus have such a hard time focusing? Too many thoughts were crossing his mind.
• What kind of music did Columbus’ crew listen to? Navi-gator tunes.
• How did Columbus report to the Queen of Spain about his journey? “I’ve just scratched the surface.”
• Why couldn’t Columbus find the remote? Because he left it in a whole New World!
• What’s Columbus’ favorite card game? Go fish, across the Atlantic.
• Why did Columbus set sail from Spain? He wanted to spice up his life!
• How did Columbus speak to his ship? He used stern language.
• Why did Columbus make a great detective? He could always discover the hidden clues.
• What was Columbus’ favorite subject in school? Geography, he always knew where he was going!
• Why didn’t Columbus use a map? He liked the element of surprise.
• What do you call it when Columbus makes friends with all the locals? A discovery channel.
• How did Columbus react when he first saw the land? It was a sight for shore eyes.
• What’s Columbus’ favorite strategy game? Risk, because he’s always taking over new territories.
• Why do Columbus’ friends always play cards with him? Because he’s good at taking new suits.
• Why did the ocean break up with Columbus? It couldn’t handle the long-distance relationship.
• What’s Columbus’ favorite web browser? Explorer, naturally.
• How did Columbus write such catchy diaries? He had a knack for making history.
• What do you call a nervous Columbus? A worry-gator.
• Why was Columbus a bad bowler? He thought he could reach the pins by sailing.
• What did Columbus use to light his ship? Na-vi-lights.
• What do you call Columbus when he’s cooking? Chef Navigator.
• Why did Columbus stay calm during the storm? Because he knew every cloud has a new horizon.
• What was Columbus’ favorite animal? The sea-lion, for its courage and exploration.
• What does Columbus wear to stay fashionable? Boat ties.
• Why is Columbus bad at chess? Because he thinks every move is a game-changer.
• What’s Columbus’ least favorite movie? “Lost in Translation” – he never liked getting lost.

Funny Columbus Puns And Jokes

• Why did Columbus create a tennis team? He heard about new courts across the sea.
• What did the Atlantic say to Columbus? “Stop following me!”
• How do you throw a space party? You planet just like Columbus did.
• Why did Columbus have trouble with his phone? He couldn’t find the right port to charge.
• What’s Columbus’ favorite kind of tea? Navi-tea.
• Why do history books find Columbus admirable? Because he made quite an entrance.
• What’s the first thing Columbus looked for in a new place? The Wi-Fi password.
• Why are Columbus’ jokes so good? They make history laugh!
• What type of vegetable did Columbus explore? See-kale.
• Why was Columbus’ map always wet? It had too many coasts!
• Why didn’t Columbus start a bakery? He couldn’t find the yeast Indies.
• What did Columbus wear to his first voyage? A cap-size.
• How did Columbus begin his sea journey? By sea-lecting a good ship.
• Why did Columbus’ ship always rock? Because it had great musicians!
• What’s Columbus’ least favorite weather? No sail weather.
• How did Columbus communicate with his crew? Ship to shore radio.
• What do you get if you cross Columbus and an octopus? A map with ink spots.
• Why did Columbus go to the gym? To stay ship-shape!
• What’s Columbus’ favorite movie genre? Historical fiction – it’s all about the re-plot!
• Why did Columbus sail across the Atlantic? Because he couldn’t walk on water.
• Why did Columbus have to clean his ship? It was a little dusty from all the sea miles.
• How did Columbus organize his ships? In columns, naturally.
• Why was Columbus never lost at sea? He followed the stars!
• What’s Columbus’ favorite yoga pose? The warrior, for conquering new lands.
• What did Columbus use to fix his broken ship? Duct tape from the Indies.
• Why don’t people play hide and seek with Columbus? Because good luck hiding on a boat!
• What did Columbus say when he got sick at sea? “I think I have the boat flu.”
• Why did Columbus like to journal? Because diaries are ships that never sink.
• Why did Columbus cross the ocean? To get to the other tide.
• Why did Columbus have a cat on his ship? For good mew-sical company.

Funny Columbus Puns And One-Liners

• Columbus’ crew hates playing cards with him; he always takes the lead on new suits.
• Only Columbus could go to India and miss it by thousands of miles but still call it a success.
• Columbus was the original Eastern influencer.
• To Columbus, “taking the scenic route” meant sailing the ocean blue.
• Columbus probably wouldn’t excel in today’s GPS world – he’d miss the journey.
• When Columbus slept, he didn’t snore, he roared across seas.
• If Columbus had a cooking show, it’d be called ‘Spice Routes’.
• Columbus’ idea of a network connection was a bunch of ships tied together.
• If Columbus had been a lawyer, he’d have been the best at finding loopholes across continents.
• “Follow the sun,” they said. So Columbus did, all the way to a new continent.
• Columbus didn’t use bookmarks; he preferred to make history on every page.
• Imagine Columbus at a car dealership: “I’ll take the one with the best mileage across water.”
• Columbus’ favorite science was physics; he loved the motion of the ocean.
• Why don’t you ever play hide and seek with Columbus? Because even if you hide, he’ll claim he discovered you.
• Columbus is the reason we need to specify East or West Indies.
• Columbus probably thought “cloud storage” was just a stormy day at sea.
• When asked what he achieved, Columbus might say, “Just a small step for a man, a giant leap across the ocean.”
• If Columbus had a GPS, it would probably say, “Re-calculating” all the time.
• Columbus in a digital age would be lost; he liked his maps old-school.
• Why did Columbus love geometry? Because life’s about the journey, not the arrival.
• If Columbus were alive today, he’d be the most adventurous travel blogger.
• Columbus was the original advocate for taking the road less traveled – or in his case, the ocean.
• Every day was a “throwback Thursday” for Columbus – back to the old maps and routes.
• Columbus didn’t just travel; he made globetrotting a trend.
• If Columbus could see us today, he’d probably wonder why we’re not all sailing somewhere.
• Columbus’ idea of a good time was charting the uncharted.
• Columbus was into water sports before it was cool – sailing, mostly.
• Did Columbus ever get lost? No, he was always at sea.
• Columbus’ navigation style was less “turn right in 200 meters,” more “keep going until we hit land.”
• “I’ve discovered the perfect route,” said Columbus, probably every day.