130+ Crab Puns: Jokes And One-Liners

Crabs are not only fascinating sea creatures but also a source of inspiration for humorists everywhere. Known for their sideways walk and distinctive claws, crabs have managed to claw their way into the heart of pun enthusiasts. This collection of over 130 crab puns, jokes, and one-liners is sure to get you out of any pinch with a smile. 

Whether you’re looking to crack a smile at your next seafood dinner or just want to add a pinch of fun to your day, these crustacean-themed quips will do just the trick.

Top Crab Puns

• I tried to play soccer with a crab, but he kept walking sideways with the ball. It was a real shell shocker!
• Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
• What do you call a crab who plays baseball? A pinch hitter!
• Crabs are always so snappy because they can’t just shellax.
• What kind of music do crabs listen to? Claw-ssical!
• Why did the crab never share? Because he was a little shellfish.
• What do crabs eat for breakfast? Sand-wiches!
• Crabs and lobsters are not good friends, they always seem to be at claws.
• What do crabs do on their birthday? Shell-ebrate!
• Why was the crab arrested? For pinching!
• When a crab doesn’t give you a straight answer, it’s probably sidestepping the question.
• What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasa-bi!
• Why did the crab cross the road? To get to the other tide!
• How do crabs leave their houses? Through the shellter exit.
• Who delivers presents to baby crabs? Santa Claws!
• Why don’t crabs use computers? They’re worried about catching viruses on their shellphones.
• What’s a crab’s favorite fruit? Crab-apples!
• Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they are shellfish!
• How do you call a stubborn crab? Shell-headed.
• Do you know the crabs’ favorite game? It’s Muscle Beach.
• What’s a crab’s best day? Snap-day!
• What did the crab do at the beach? He sand his heart out!
• Why are crabs so good at measuring? They always have their scale with them!
• What did the sea say to the crab? Nothing, it just waved!
• What do you call an underwater crab that uses one claw to fight? A boxer crab.
• How do crabs and lobsters stay in touch? Shell phones!
• What do crabs use for money? Sand dollars!
• Why are crabs so bad at basketball? Too many turnovers!
• Why did the crab go to jail? For pinching!
• What do you call a crab that throws things? A lobster pitcher!

Best Crab Puns

• If you think crabs are organized, you should see their shellves.
• What did one crab say to the other during a fight? I’ll claw you!
• Crabs aren’t great at sharing, they’re a bit shellfish.
• Why did the crab start a charity? To show he wasn’t shellfish!
• Crabs are known for their good taste in shellter.
• What did the crab do during the sea quake? It got shell shocked!
• Why are crabs so bad at football? Because they only use their claws!
• What did the crab say to his valentine? You’re claw-some!
• Who do crabs look up to? Lob-stars!
• How do crabs cheer at sports games? By snapping their claws!
• Why are crabs so punctual? Because they like to be on tide.
• What do crabs eat at McDonald’s? Crab Mac.
• Why don’t crabs ever pay the bill? Because they’re shellfish!
• What do crabs smoke? Seaweed.
• Crabs don’t go to college because they’re already experts in marine biology.
• What’s a crab’s favorite pasta? Crab-bonara.
• Why are crabs so secretive? Because they hide in their shells.
• How do crabs avoid taxes? They use shell-ter companies!
• What do you get when you cross a crab with a pie? Snap pie!
• Why do crabs never play cards in the ocean? Because they’re afraid of whale sharks!
• What did the crab say to the steak? You’re claw-fully tasty!
• How do crabs follow the news? By scuttling through the current events.
• What is a crab’s favorite kitchen gadget? The can-opener!
• What do crabs do when they see a boat? They wave!
• What is a crab’s favorite drink? Salt water.
• What do crabs do when they’re scared? They shellter in place!
• How do crabs stay fit? By exercising their claws at the gym-nassium!
• Why are crabs never money lenders? They’re too crabby.
• What’s a crab’s favorite tea? Chai-sea!
• How do crabs decorate their house? With sea shells and sand dollars!

Read Also: FUNNY JELLYFISH PUNS AND JOKES

Funny Crab Puns

• Why do crabs never start a business? They can’t stop being shellfish.
• What do you call a crab who throws garbage in the ocean? A litter crab!
• Crabs are good at photography, especially at taking shellfies.
• Why did the crab go into therapy? It couldn’t let go of its emotional baggage.
• Crabs never go to school, they already know their A-B-Seas.
• What do you call a crab that knows karate? A kung-fu crab!
• Why don’t crabs trust the internet? Too many phishing scams.
• What do crabs say when they eat something spicy? That’s hot as shell!
• When is a crab not a crab? When it’s a little shellfish!
• What do crabs watch on Netflix? Claw and Order!
• Crabs don’t use weights, they have muscle shells.
• Why do crabs hate sharing their desserts? They hate anyone touching their pie-nchers.
• What’s a crab’s favorite chocolate? Snickers, because they’re nut-crackers!
• Why don’t crabs make good athletes? They peak too shell-ly in their careers.
• Why did the crab join the gym? To improve its muscle tone.
• What happens when two crabs don’t get along? They just shell it out.
• What do crabs do in the winter? Catch a chill.
• Why are crabs great at parties? Because they bring their own claws!
• What do you call a crab who is a food critic? A snap-judger.
• How do crabs succeed? By pulling themselves up by their bootstraps.
• Why do crabs love shopping? They believe in retail therapy!
• What do crabs do for fun? They hit every shell in town!
• Crabs always know the way because they have a good compass-shell.
• What do you call a crab that likes to borrow stuff? A grab.
• Why are crabs good at internet dating? Because they’re good at catching fish.
• What did the crab say after a break-up? Guess I’m back on the sea market.
• Why do crabs make bad salespeople? They’re always snapping at customers!
• How do you know when a crab is broke? When it’s not shelling out!
• What do crabs wear to sleep? Snapper jammies!
• Why are crabs bad storytellers? They only have one tale to tell!

Funny Crab One-Liners

• I’m feeling a bit crabby today, must’ve woken up on the wrong side of the sea bed.
• Don’t worry, be crabby!
• You got to be squidding me, right? No, just crabbing.
• This crab salad has me feeling a little shell shocked.
• Crabs hate Internet Explorer, but they love Google Crabs!
• I’ve got this crab, and honestly, he’s just my pinch pal.
• Why did the crab never go to college? It found the loans too shell-fish.
• Crabs are so predictable, always following the same current events.
• Don’t be so crabby, life’s a beach!
• Do you think crabs think fish can fly?
• Why do crabs hate fast food? It makes them crabby!
• Have you ever seen a crab in a hat? It’s like a shellmet!
• Crabs always carry their homes with them because they believe in mobile real estate.
• Why do crabs never pay the bill? They lose their wallet in their back pocket.
• Always trust a crab, they can handle the tooth.
• Crabs don’t watch TV, they watch shell-o-vision.
• Did you hear about the crab that went to a seafood disco? He pulled a mussel.
• Why don’t crabs share their toys? Because they’re shellfish.
• I asked a crab for directions, but he just waved.
• Can crabs be knights? Only if they’re Sir-Vival of the fittest.
• Why do crabs never use public transportation? They like to travel at their own pace.
• Do crabs have a favorite letter? Sea!
• Why did the crab go to the party? To raise the shell-ebration!
• Why don’t crabs pass their exams? Because they’re all at sea.
• I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down, just like a crab’s claw.
• Did you hear about the crab that went into space? He wanted to visit the Crab Nebula.
• What do you get if you cross a crab with an explosive? A bombshell.
• How do crabs leave their homes? Through the shell door.
• Why did the crab talk to the mussel? Because it wanted to shell something.
• What do you call a very important crab? A big fish in a small pond.

Jokes About Crab

• What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite, but don’t tell that to a crab—they’re cold enough!
• Why don’t crabs use smartphones? Too many cr-apps.
• What do you call a crab who likes to borrow? A crab-apple!
• How do crabs keep their youth? Sea-crets.
• Why are crabs bad at volleyball? They bring new meaning to the term ‘net loss’.
• How do you throw a space party? You planet—but make sure no crabs are around, they’ll cut the atmosphere with their claws.
• Why are young crabs told not to smoke? Because it’s bad for their shell-th!
• What do crabs do when they’re not working? They just krill time.
• How do crabs get around on the sand? They use a sand-wich!
• Why did the crab sit on the mushroom? Because it was a fun-gi!
• Why did the crab never get a job? It lacked the qualifications.
• What do crabs eat at a restaurant? The “Catch of the Day.”
• What do you call a crab that’s been thrown out of a pub? Shell-tered.
• How do crabs make their voices heard? By raising a shell!
• Why do crabs love shopping on eBay? For the eBay-tides!

Conclusion

Whether at a beach party or during a dinner by the sea, these 130+ crab puns, jokes, and one-liners are perfect to lighten the mood and bring a wave of laughter to any conversation. From puns that snap to jokes that have a deeper dive into the crab culture, these quips are perfect for anyone looking to add a pinch of humor to their day. Enjoy sharing these with friends and family, or simply treasure them to yourself for those moments when you need a little lift or a crabby chuckle.