80+ Funny Alcohol Puns, Jokes And One-Liners

If you’re looking for a way to spice up your next party or just need a good chuckle after a long day, you’ve come to the right place. Humor and alcohol have gone hand-in-hand for centuries, often providing a way to lighten the mood or make social gatherings more enjoyable. 

Whether you’re a fan of wine, beer, spirits, or just puns in general, this collection of 80+ alcohol-related puns, jokes, and one-liners is guaranteed to make you and your friends laugh.

Funny Alcohol Puns

  • I’m in a whisky business.
  • You’re the gin to my tonic.
  • I’ve got a rye sense of humor.
  • Don’t go bacon my heart. I couldn’t if I fried.
  • Let’s go wine down for the evening.
  • Beer with me, I’m getting to the good part.
  • I sherry picked all these puns myself.
  • Ale be seeing you later!
  • Hop on, let’s go bar hopping.
  • I can’t stop wining about my day.
  • Is it stout in here, or is it just me?
  • Sip happens when you party too hard.
  • I feel barley awake.
  • Let’s brew this!
  • Don’t worry, beer hoppy!
  • You stir my natural spirits.
  • It’s brew-tiful outside today.
  • Yeast of my problems is choosing a drink.
  • My love for you is neat.
  • Case me, you fool!

Cute Alcohol Puns

  • Let’s get fizz-ical with these cocktails!
  • Olive for happy hour.
  • You had me at merlot.
  • You’re the wine that I want.
  • Here today, gone to Mai Tai.
  • Be malt-ivated!
  • Water you doing tonight? Going for a drink?
  • I liquor and I can’t lie.
  • I love you brew much.
  • Are you a whiskey? Because you make my heart skip a beat.
  • You make my heart sauterne.
  • My love for you is like a fine wine; it gets better with time.
  • Rum away with me!
  • We’re mint to be.
  • This might be cheesy, but you’re grate.
  • You are just write for me.
  • Your love is like vodka; it’s clear but powerful.
  • Let’s get ready to stumble!
  • It’s not good to keep things bottled up.
  • Aloe Vera much enjoy cocktails with you.
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Cute Alcohol Puns And Jokes

  • Why don’t scientists trust atoms at the bar? Because they make up everything, even the booze.
  • What do you call a tipsy ghost? Spirited away.
  • Why did the kangaroo stop drinking? It was making him too hoppy.
  • What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.
  • How do you know a party is great? When the drinks are pouring and the laughter is roaring.
  • What’s a tequila’s favorite book? Tequila Mockingbird.
  • Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  • What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  • Why don’t we ever tell secrets at the bar? Because alcohol spills everything.
  • How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
  • What’s a bartender’s favorite tool? A whisk.
  • Why was the math book sad at the bar? Because it had too many problems.
  • What did the whiskey say to the ice? You crack me up!
  • How do you organize a space party? You planet.
  • What’s a computer’s favorite drink? Screen tea.
  • Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
  • What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
  • Why do we never play cards in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
  • What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved.
  • Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.

Best Puns About Alcohol

  • Liquor? I hardly know her!
  • I must be a diamond because you just made me a whiskey girl.
  • My jokes are a bar-rel of laughs.
  • Pour decisions make great stories.
  • This party is lit on so many levels.
  • Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame.
  • I don’t have a rye sense of humor.
  • You’re the pitcher perfect friend.
  • I’ve been schooner rather than later.
  • Malt-iply your fun tonight!
  • Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.
  • Keg stand up comedy night at the bar.
  • Draft a new plan for the weekend.
  • Mix it up a little!
  • Can you beer me now?
  • I’ve been known to engage in a little spirited discussion.
  • Distill my beating heart!
  • Brew love has me jumping over the moon.
  • Are you a brewski? Because you have my heart racing.
  • Ale be there for you.
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Conclusion

In conclusion, a well-crafted pun or a witty one-liner can turn any ordinary moment into a memorable one, especially when shared over a drink with friends. Whether you’re a fan of beer, wine, spirits, or just the jokes that come with them, there’s something in this list for everyone to enjoy.

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