130+ Funny Colon Puns: Jokes and One-Liners

Everyone loves a good laugh, and what better way to tickle your funny bone than with some humor centered around the colon? Not the punctuation, but rather, that crucial part of the digestive system that often becomes the butt of jokes. 

Whether you are a doctor, a medical student, or simply someone who appreciates a bit of anatomical humor, this expansive collection of colon puns, jokes, and one-liners is sure to keep you entertained.

Funny Colon Puns

• I told my friend a joke about my colon; he didn’t get it, it passed right over him.
• My colon enjoys classical music; it really appreciates an organ recital.
• I’ve got a colon that really knows how to throw a party; it’s always having a blast!
• Why did the colon join a band? Because it knew it could make some smooth moves.
• What did the doctor say to the colon after surgery? ‘You’re all cleaned out!’
• Colon jokes aren’t just good, they’re semicolon good!
• Why was the colon so popular at school? It was at the center of every gossip.
• My colon and I are in a complicated relationship; it’s often one-sided.
• What’s a colon’s favorite dance move? The twist and shout.
• Do you know what happened to the film about the colon? It was a box office flush!
• Colon puns are great, but sometimes they’re a bit hard to digest.
• Why did the colon take a break? It was wiped out.
• When my colon went on strike, things really started to pile up.
• How do you organize a colon party? You start with a colonvite.
• Why did the colon go to jail? For causing too much commotion.
• What do you call a colon detective? Sherlock Bowels.
• My colon went to an Ivy League school; it really is an educated guess.
• When the colon plays chess, it always thinks a few moves a-head.
• Why don’t colons make good leaders? They tend to push people’s buttons.
• How do colons stay informed? They read the bowel-itin board.
• A colon’s favorite superhero? The Incredible Bulk.
• Why did the colon go to the therapist? To work out its inner blockages.
• Colons don’t use bookmarks; they prefer a good cliffhanger.
• What did the angry colon say? “I’ve had it up to here with your crap!”
• Why don’t colons make good musicians? They always need a rest.
• What did one colon say to another? “We’re in this together, end to end.”
• Colons in horror movies always have a gut feeling.
• Why was the colon late? It got tied up.
• How does a colon plead in court? ‘No contest, your honor.’
• Why did the colon go to art school? To brush up on its movements.
• A colon’s favorite activity? Bowel-ing.
• What did the colon say during the marathon? “I’m running on empty!”
• Why are colons bad storytellers? They tend to drag things out.
• How do colons communicate? By passing messages.
• What’s a colon’s favorite store? The Gap.
• Why did the colon cross the road? To get to the other side… eventually.
• What do you call an adventurous colon? An exp-lore-a-bowel!
• Why did the colon refuse to freeze? It didn’t want to get iced.
• What’s a colon’s life motto? What goes around comes around.
• How do you cheer up a sad colon? With a little bit of bowel humor.

Funny Colon Jokes

• What do you get when you cross a colon with a thesaurus? Synonyms and sinonyms!
• Why was the colon scared to go to school? It heard the kids were ruthless.
• Did you hear about the colon that went to Hollywood? It became a motion picture star.
• What does a colon do on its day off? Takes a long pause.
• Why did the colon sit in the corner at the party? It was feeling a little flushed.
• What’s a colon’s favorite type of music? Rock ‘n’ roll, because of the rock and bowel movement.
• What did the teacher say to the unruly colon in class? ‘Don’t make me call your pa-rent!’
• Why did the colon see a psychic? To get a glimpse of the end.
• Why was the colon awarded a medal? It performed outstanding movements under pressure.
• What happens when a colon gets angry? It blows off steam.
• Why don’t colons ever win at poker? They always fold under pressure.
• What did the colon say when it won the lottery? “Now, I’m on a roll!”
• Why are colons terrible at keeping secrets? They always let things slip.
• What’s a colon’s favorite movie? Gone with the Wind.
• Why did the colon bring a suitcase to the hospital? It had too much baggage.
• What did the colon say to its owner after a big meal? “You’re really pushing my buttons!”
• Why do colons hate escalators? They prefer a smooth ride.
• What do you call a colon that’s a master of disguise? A sneak-peek.
• Why was the colon voted ‘Most Likely to Succeed’? It was always moving up.
• How does a colon deal with a tough day? It lets everything run its course.
• Why did the colon join the circus? It wanted to be a ring leader.
• What do you call a very polite colon? A proper-noun.
• Why did the colon write a book? To get to the bottom of things.
• What does a colon do at a bar? It orders a stool softener.
• Why are colons good at yoga? They’re great at twisting.
• What did the colon do when it got excited? It couldn’t contain itself.
• Why did the colon go on a diet? It wanted to avoid any heavy lifting.
• How does a colon express affection? It passes a sweet nothing.
• What’s a colon’s least favorite month? No-vember.
• Why did the colon become a baker? Because it kneads dough.
• Why did the colon visit the bank? To ensure its assets were liquid.
• What does a colon call an unplanned event? A spur-of-the-moment.
• What did the colon say when it was complimented? ‘Oh, stop! You’re just buttering me up!’
• Why did the colon start a blog? To share the inside scoop.
• What did the colon say to the small intestine? ‘Are you done? Because I’m next!’
• What’s a colon’s favorite day of the week? Wendsday.
• Why are colons like clocks? They both deal with runs.
• How do you get a party started in the digestive system? Invite the colon—it knows how to move.
• Why did the colon go to the spa? It needed some time to unwind.
• What did the colon say when things got tough? “This too shall pass.”

Read Also: Funny Stomach Puns: Jokes And One-Liners

Funny Colon Puns and One-Liners

• If colons could talk, they’d tell some moving stories.
• What do you call a colon that works overtime? Overflown.
• How does a colon make decisions? Gut instinct.
• Why don’t colons get lonely? They’re always full of friends.
• Did you hear about the constipated colon? It had a hard time.
• What do colons use to stay in shape? Ab-crunchers.
• Why did the colon go to a fortune teller? To see what the end holds.
• What does a colon do in an emergency? It evacuates.
• How do colons get ahead in life? They push through.
• What did the colon say to its date? “Let’s go somewhere a little more private.”
• Why are colons like detectives? They always get to the bottom of things.
• What’s a colon’s favorite pastime? Hanging out in the lounge.
• How did the colon become a poet? It has a way with words.
• Why was the colon so calm during the storm? It’s used to handling a load of crap.
• What do you call a colon that’s good at hiding? Incog-neato.
• Why don’t colons make good judges? They can’t help passing things.
• What’s a colon’s favorite type of humor? Irony and irritable bowel syndrome.
• What do you call a colon on a boat? A naval maneuver.
• Why don’t colons make good secret agents? They always spill the beans.
• What’s a colon’s favorite workout? Squats and twists.
• What does a colon do at a soccer game? Kicks butt.
• Why did the colon go to a psychic? To find out what the future holds.
• Why did the colon get a medal? For outstanding performance in the field.
• What did the colon say when it got a surprise party? “You shouldn’t have!”
• What’s a colon’s favorite horror movie? The Running Man.
• Why are colons bad at history? They can’t keep things straight.
• How do you thank a colon? With lots of appreciation and a little relief.
• What does a colon say to its friends? “Keep things moving!”
• Why don’t colons make good mathematicians? They’re more into division than addition.
• What did the colon say to the kidney? “Urine good company!”
• How do colons deal with stress? They don’t; they let it go.
• What do you call a colon in a hurry? Rushed.
• Why did the colon join the debate team? It was great at arguing its point.
• What do you call a philosophical colon? A deep thinker.
• What’s a colon’s favorite carnival ride? The rollercoaster, for its ups and downs.
• Why did the colon write a novel? It had a lot of chapters to get through.
• How do colons deal with a crisis? They digest the situation first.
• What do you call a tired colon? Exhausted.
• Why are colons like teenagers? They both deal with a lot of pressure.
• What did the colon say after a long day? “That was a lot to handle!”

Conclusion

From parties to personal stories, colons are surprisingly versatile when it comes to jokes! We hope these 130+ puns and one-liners have given you plenty of laughs and maybe even inspired a few groans. Remember, a good colon joke can cleanse the soul, or at the very least, make you smile a little more throughout your day.