280+ Funny Calculus Puns, Jokes And One-Liners

Calculus: the branch of mathematics that tells us exactly why, at the very moment we finally manage to solve part of its mystery, another derivative pops up! 

Whether you’re a math enthusiast, a student trying to navigate through derivatives and integrals, or just a lover of good humor, this collection of over 280 calculus puns, jokes, and one-liners is designed to add a little exponential fun to your day!

Funny Calculus Puns

• Why do calculus teachers throw the best parties? They know all the prime functions!
• What do you call a number that can’t keep still? A roamin’ numeral!
• Why did the function feel sad? Because it was not derivable.
• How do you comfort a sad mathematician? With algebros.
• Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average? It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
• What do you call an angle that is adorable? Acute angle!
• Why don’t calculus majors throw house parties? Because you should never drink and derive.
• What’s the integral of 1/cabin? Log cabin, plus C — a houseboat!
• Why do mathematicians hate the beach? Because they can’t differentiate the sea and sand.
• What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi!
• Why was the equal sign so humble? Because he wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.
• What do you call an angle that’s gone bad? A ‘rebel’ angle!
• Why did the variable break up with the constant? He found her too limiting.
• How does a mathematician solve a constipation problem? They work it out with a pencil.
• What did the algebra book say to the calculus book? “Man, you’ve got problems!”
• Why are parallel lines so tragic? They have so much in common, but they’ll never meet.
• What’s a math teacher’s favorite snack? Pi!
• Why did the polynomial go to therapy? It couldn’t deal with its complex roots.
• How do mathematicians scold their children? “If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…”
• What do you call a number that can’t keep still? A roamin’ numeral!
• What’s a bird’s favorite type of math? Owl-gebra!
• Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.
• Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
• What do you call a group of calculators? A calcu-lattice!
• Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach? Because it was more than 90 degrees.
• What’s a mathematician’s favorite ride at the amusement park? The roller co-ster!
• Why did the vector go to school? To improve its magnitude and direction.
• What kind of tree could a math teacher climb? Geometry.
• Why do mathematicians like airlines? They use Pi-lots.
• What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of Mount Everest? A high-pot-in-use!
• Why do logarithms never throw a party? Because they’re always solving exponents.
• What do you call two friends who love math? Algebros.
• What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
• Why are obtuse angles so depressed? Because they are never right.
• What do you call a lower angle? Downright!
• Why did the student wear glasses in math class? To improve di-vision.
• What do you get when you cross geometry with McDonald’s? A plane cheeseburger.
• Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging? Because X always equals 10.
• Why do math professors love parks? Because of the natural logs.
• What do you call an algebra teacher who likes to breakdance? A square dancer!
  Funny Puns About Calculus
• Why did the calculus teacher write on the window? To clarify transparent concepts!
• What do you call a derivative that’s lived overseas? A foreign function!
• Why don’t derivatives work at night? They’re not good with darker functions.
• What do you call an integral in the ocean? A swim-tegral!
• Why was the tangent afraid to go to school? It couldn’t face the secant.
• Why did the student do his calculus homework on the beach? Because he wanted to find his tan line!
• What do you say when you see an empty graph? “Oh plot!”
• Why are calculus teachers great dancers? Because they have all the right moves.
• How does a mathematician chop a tree? By using a tree diagram!
• What’s calculus’s favorite type of dance? The Funk-tion.
• Why was the graph paper crying? It had too many problems to plot.
• How can you tell you’re talking to an extroverted mathematician? He looks at your shoes when talking to you instead of his own.
• What do you call a young eigensheep? A lamb, duh!
• Why did the algebra teacher and the calculus teacher break up? They had integration issues.
• How does a mathematician organize a party? They planet.
• What did the function say to the derivative? “Stop changing me!”
• Why is beer never served at a math party? Because you can’t drink and derive.
• What did the irrational number say to the imaginary number? “Get real!”
• Why did the exponential function go to the party alone? Because it didn’t need a base to feel good!
• How do you catch a lion with calculus? Use the element of surprise.
• Why did the two vectors break up? They weren’t going in the same direction.
• What do you call a dead parabola? A flat-liner.
• Why do mathematicians enjoy flying on planes? Because they’re co-linear.
• How do mathematicians like their chicken? Norm-alized.
• What did the stinky function say? “I need a range check!”
• Why are mathematicians bad liars? You can see right through their plots.
• How do you comfort a math teacher? “Don’t worry, it’s all going to add up in the end.”
• Why was the derivative sent to detention? It couldn’t behave properly.
• What’s a mathematician’s favorite winter sport? Snowboarding on a hyperplane.
• Why don’t mathematicians argue with derivatives? They just can’t deal with their rate of change.
• What did calculus say when it got famous? “Now I’m in my prime!”
• Why do mathematicians hate walking in the forest? Too many natural logs.
• What happens when you put a function in the oven? It becomes a pie-chart.
• Why did the mathematician break up with calculus? Too many issues with limits.
• Why did the line get a ticket? It couldn’t stay within the limits.
• What do you call an algebraic superhero? The Incredi-variable!
• Why are polynomials so sad? They’re always being divided.
• What did the angry mother function say to her derivative son? “I’ve reached my limit with you!”
• Why did calculus go to therapy? It couldn’t integrate its problems.
• How do you find the beach party? You integrate along the coast!

Best Calculus Humour

• Why was the function so bent out of shape? Because it had too many derivatives!
• What do you get if you differentiate a cow? Prime beef!
• Why did the polynomial plant die? It couldn’t find its roots.
• What’s the integral of 1/cabin? A natural log cabin plus C (a sea)!
• What do you call a group of radicals having a party? A square root function!
• Why don’t calculus majors throw house parties? Because you should never drink and derive.
• Why do mathematicians throw confetti on Halloween? To make the functions continuous.
• How do you find the derivative of Amazon? Prime!
• Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor? The teacher told him not to use tables.
• Why do mathematicians love amusement parks? Because of all the roller coaster functions.
• What kind of tree could a math teacher climb? Geometry.
• Why did the function stop calling its derivative? It didn’t see the point of tangency.
• What’s the derivative of a wheel? Rolling!
• Why do mathematicians hate U.S. rivers? Because they’re always in de-Nile (denial)!
• What do you call the leader of a biology gang? The Nucleus!
• What do mathematicians like to throw during parties? Natural logs.
• What do you call an angle that is adorable? Acute angle.
• Why do calculus students hate autumn? Because all the functions start losing their leaves.
• Why did the student drown in his math class? He couldn’t streamline his thoughts.
• What’s a math teacher’s favorite sum? Summer!
• Why do math books have so many problems? That’s their job!
• Why do math teachers make good dancers? They have algorithm.
• What do you call a decomposing angle? A dead radians.
• How does a mathematician plow fields? With a pro-tractor.
• Why was the equal sign so humble? Because he wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.
• Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.
• What do you call an empty parrot cage? Polynomial (Polly’s no meal).
• Why is beer never served at a math party? Because you can’t drink and derive.
• What did the zero say to the eight? “Nice belt!”
• Why do statisticians make great sailors? They’re good with knots.
• Why couldn’t the angle get a loan? His parents wouldn’t cosine.
• What do you get when you cross geometry with McDonald’s? A plane cheeseburger.
• Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach? Because it was over 90 degrees.
• What do you call a man who spent all summer at the beach? A tangent (tan gent).
• Why did the vector go to school? It needed direction.
• What does a mathematician do about constipation? Works it out with a pencil.
• Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
• How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children? “I’ve got my eyes like πr^2 on you.”
• Why was the geometry book always unhappy? Because it always had too many problems.
• What do you call friends who love math? Algebros.